(from Christmas this year)

Mole Arses
By
RD Larson

“Moleskin?” I arched my usually level brow at the security guard.

“Yes, Madam, PM said moleskin.”

“Feathers would suit me better,” I mumbled, straightening my dress.

“Ah, yes, love, you are a rare old bird,” said my spouse from his comfy chair.

“Travers, tell the PM to stuff his Moleskin opinion into his yellow bill; he’s the duck in the soup of this damn Hunter’s Ball.” I dearly wanted to say balls, but it had got me cocked-up before. I thought I just might resign before Boxing Day.

http://www.ehow.com/how_11775_celebrate-boxing-day.html